need to be able to collaborate online with specific people in secure architecture. easy interface to write stories, edit, create an outline and flesh it out. Chat capabilities. When a post is just too much. Character animation would be fun - avatar type thing.
titles: Self-Saboteur; self talk, magical thinking, devil/angel/negative consequences related to thoughts :if you do this x will happen which is good, if you do not y will happen and that is punitive or going to lose you a friend or lover or apt etc. Using the voices to become the best version of you in your own eyes and gain respect for yourself.
Provocateur - histrionics in men and women, age affects behavior, lack of internal stimulus, drug addiction or abuse. Heal thyself - how do I heal my neurological system? Rewiring your emotions. unstimulated sluggish bedbug. been there, done that. What's the underlying foundational issue and how can people like me and others crate and benefit from cognitive restructuring and behavioral approaches where group members are assigned activities to do outside of group. Tackle the social anxiety without crutches.
Title - feelin my oats Last night we went to the Tea Dance a the Moon (hx of moon). My behavior: dress, mannerisms, dancing with poolstick, twerking but with limited lower body movement or neck movement - guess it was not really twerking, more like a slow seizure. Country dancing with a good partner, waltz like it's a rollercoaster ride, hold on tight and get on your tip toes. You are in for a wild ride. nope, instead I get wommin with no rhythm who have MS, are graceful like a dinosaur, only like to rock out by themselves on the floor or create no spark in my tummy. Discuss Pat M - 30 years of flirting with only one kiss when I moved away to NE.
Title - tools in the shed - group content Mental tools in the shed - leads to emotional rearchitecture in brain, thinking leads to blah blah Outline of group educational topics in order of relevance at given stage of SA tx or universal themes tx. See all those damned sticky notes from when I was falling in love with counseling. This is the organic way of learning treatment methods as opposed to being a textbook addict. maybe not so organic, more like manufactured, brewed up or concocted mix.
contrast to medical tools in the shed for homeostasis of stimulation. Balance the beam. Pendulum discussion - universal themes, no black and white, continuum.
I am very restless today but I am not sure why exactly - I guess I just want something but I am not sure what it is.
how does one feed the soul? long hugs between friends (no sex, that is a whole nuther trip) can add a few drops into your emotional bucket when it feels empty. What else fills the bucket? Writing is not only a great outlet but a great mental organization system. it leaves me feeling depleted and ready for something like a meandering walk among the trees or rocking out in the kitchen.
hugs from true friends and family - the kind that last until you both sigh and relax into each other, body and soul. What makes is eyes sparkle? He is such a thinker under that hipster exterior. He has kids and a PhD but is really a hipster.
I had this cartoon made while I was undergoing radiation treatment for Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma - a small Mucosal Associated Lymphoid tumor on the white of my right eye. Five weeks of radiation left me with no eyebrow on one side and precious few eyelashes on either side! As luck would have it, I was working at the US Army Corps of Engineers Information Management Office as a student intern while attending classes for an MIS degree. My mission was to teach 1000 civilian employees how to use Windows, a mouse and a new application called Groupwise email. The next course was an Electronic Forms application. The mice were running everywhere on the screens and in the air as students tried to figure out how they moved across the screen. I had to create a video to ship to other sites in the US for use as a stand alone training video. YIPES! I have not eyebrows to speak of and on camera I am gonna look like... well, oddly enough, a cancer patient. So, in short, they did the static cartoon character with my voiceover and screen movements on camera. I still have that video and the training manual, quick reference card, etc. That was one of my finest hours in life. I will have to work on this more later. Stories about staring mortality in the face (for about two seconds, then everything was fine.)
OK, not done writing yet. This feels a wee bit spooky like the old days when I stayed up for a couple days running while trying to work and abuse my brain.
This time is much healthier. It is early, I have been writing and reading most of the afternoon and night. Jamie and I are on opposite schedules at present. Not sure if this is by design or happenstance. I don't want to inquire. We need space and time before we can remember what there is between us. It is good that we did this test run for a couple months before making a move. I never dreamed she would not want me as I am though. I cannot change my life history, only the present and prepare for the future. I never lied, cheated or stole and I am content with that. I do not have 10 + years under my belt. It is what it is. If I am not bothered by it then trust me, it is not an issue. If you keep one eye open all the time seeking missteps you miss looking into MY eyes.
Is there enough THERE there? I do not want to even examine it as it is irrelevant. It is not a soulmate sort of thing. It never was. It was about 3 years of excellent sex, good company and too little intelligent thought on my part. It hopefully still can be some sort of close relationship if not fuck buddies. I am leaning toward just returning to my protected little pod where I am alone and everyone there understands me completely.
Not ready to process all this. Trying to feel tethered but the wind is becoming fierce. Oh, well, I am always trying to keep my feet on the ground to feel secure. I am a Libra, something to do with "fixed sign" is water. This does not bode well for stability it would seem. I do know there is alot more involved and that learning more about Astrology is one of my bucket list items. More on this later
post this pic on interludes with txt
19 comments:
https://plus.google.com/104131393540158023759/posts picture site on google
not sure about just adding comments in this way
something about more stream layout (single column shows most recent last.
need to be able to collaborate online with specific people in secure architecture. easy interface to write stories, edit, create an outline and flesh it out. Chat capabilities. When a post is just too much. Character animation would be fun - avatar type thing.
good website for writing and pictures, http://www.matthewschuler.co/
good site for multi subject navigation http://www.psychologytoday.com
titles: Self-Saboteur; self talk, magical thinking, devil/angel/negative consequences related to thoughts :if you do this x will happen which is good, if you do not y will happen and that is punitive or going to lose you a friend or lover or apt etc. Using the voices to become the best version of you in your own eyes and gain respect for yourself.
Provocateur - histrionics in men and women, age affects behavior, lack of internal stimulus, drug addiction or abuse. Heal thyself - how do I heal my neurological system? Rewiring your emotions. unstimulated sluggish bedbug. been there, done that. What's the underlying foundational issue and how can people like me and others crate and benefit from cognitive restructuring and behavioral approaches where group members are assigned activities to do outside of group. Tackle the social anxiety without crutches.
may just need to configure this or find a new tool to satisfy my urges (to write)
Title - feelin my oats
Last night we went to the Tea Dance a the Moon (hx of moon). My behavior: dress, mannerisms, dancing with poolstick, twerking but with limited lower body movement or neck movement - guess it was not really twerking, more like a slow seizure. Country dancing with a good partner, waltz like it's a rollercoaster ride, hold on tight and get on your tip toes. You are in for a wild ride. nope, instead I get wommin with no rhythm who have MS, are graceful like a dinosaur, only like to rock out by themselves on the floor or create no spark in my tummy. Discuss Pat M - 30 years of flirting with only one kiss when I moved away to NE.
Title - tools in the shed - group content
Mental tools in the shed - leads to emotional rearchitecture in brain, thinking leads to blah blah
Outline of group educational topics in order of relevance at given stage of SA tx or universal themes tx. See all those damned sticky notes from when I was falling in love with counseling. This is the organic way of learning treatment methods as opposed to being a textbook addict. maybe not so organic, more like manufactured, brewed up or concocted mix.
contrast to medical tools in the shed for homeostasis of stimulation. Balance the beam. Pendulum discussion - universal themes, no black and white, continuum.
I am very restless today but I am not sure why exactly - I guess I just want something but I am not sure what it is.
how does one feed the soul? long hugs between friends (no sex, that is a whole nuther trip) can add a few drops into your emotional bucket when it feels empty. What else fills the bucket? Writing is not only a great outlet but a great mental organization system. it leaves me feeling depleted and ready for something like a meandering walk among the trees or rocking out in the kitchen.
this was based on a comment made by a friend who is a thinker.
hugs from true friends and family - the kind that last until you both sigh and relax into each other, body and soul. What makes is eyes sparkle? He is such a thinker under that hipster exterior. He has kids and a PhD but is really a hipster.
I want to be able to do inline photos or at least in same area as the text rather than a different page.
I had this cartoon made while I was undergoing radiation treatment for Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma - a small Mucosal Associated Lymphoid tumor on the white of my right eye. Five weeks of radiation left me with no eyebrow on one side and precious few eyelashes on either side! As luck would have it, I was working at the US Army Corps of Engineers Information Management Office as a student intern while attending classes for an MIS degree. My mission was to teach 1000 civilian employees how to use Windows, a mouse and a new application called Groupwise email. The next course was an Electronic Forms application. The mice were running everywhere on the screens and in the air as students tried to figure out how they moved across the screen. I had to create a video to ship to other sites in the US for use as a stand alone training video. YIPES! I have not eyebrows to speak of and on camera I am gonna look like... well, oddly enough, a cancer patient. So, in short, they did the static cartoon character with my voiceover and screen movements on camera. I still have that video and the training manual, quick reference card, etc. That was one of my finest hours in life. I will have to work on this more later. Stories about staring mortality in the face (for about two seconds, then everything was fine.)
OK, not done writing yet. This feels a wee bit spooky like the old days when I stayed up for a couple days running while trying to work and abuse my brain.
This time is much healthier. It is early, I have been writing and reading most of the afternoon and night. Jamie and I are on opposite schedules at present. Not sure if this is by design or happenstance. I don't want to inquire. We need space and time before we can remember what there is between us. It is good that we did this test run for a couple months before making a move. I never dreamed she would not want me as I am though. I cannot change my life history, only the present and prepare for the future. I never lied, cheated or stole and I am content with that. I do not have 10 + years under my belt. It is what it is. If I am not bothered by it then trust me, it is not an issue. If you keep one eye open all the time seeking missteps you miss looking into MY eyes.
Is there enough THERE there? I do not want to even examine it as it is irrelevant. It is not a soulmate sort of thing. It never was. It was about 3 years of excellent sex, good company and too little intelligent thought on my part. It hopefully still can be some sort of close relationship if not fuck buddies. I am leaning toward just returning to my protected little pod where I am alone and everyone there understands me completely.
Not ready to process all this. Trying to feel tethered but the wind is becoming fierce. Oh, well, I am always trying to keep my feet on the ground to feel secure. I am a Libra, something to do with "fixed sign" is water. This does not bode well for stability it would seem. I do know there is alot more involved and that learning more about Astrology is one of my bucket list items. More on this later
ok, I was a little hurt when I formulated these opinions, it is raw writing about raw emotion...
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